Today is Pac-12 Football Media day. It is being held in Los Angeles and all twelve teams are reportedly in attendance. There’s already been media buzz about the Conference of Champions as Arizona’s Hard Edge series has drawn attention and Mike Leach was Mike Leach.

But today, of course, marks the pageant. The day the conference rolls itself out on their own accord, putting their best foot forward to jump start the 2013 season.

Now please note that I am not in attendance. I will be in SoCal today but not Los Angeles. I do, however, have questions for the leads of this conference’s football teams. And if I were at media day, I probably would not ask these questions. But a boy can dream.

Follow the whole thing on twitter. The prescribed hashtag is #Pac12FB.

Pac-12 South Questions:

For Rodriguez – It’s rumored Javier Bardem has signed on to play the villain in Hard Edge III. Can you confirm this?

For Graham –  [audible chuckles] Pittsburgh [audible chuckles]

For Whittingham – Why did Urban do that to Aaron? Too soon? Too soon. Duly noted Mr. Whittingham.

For MacIntyre – You turned around a 2-10 San Jose State team in two seasons. You now inherit a 1-11 team. What the f*** were you thinking?

For Mora – Comeon…you guys threw that regular season finale to the ‘Furd didn’tya. Didn’tya. AMIRIGHT SIMERS??

For Kiffin – What’s Layla doing today?

Pac-12 North Questions:

For Shaw – Can you please just state your name and title as smugly as possible? Repeatedly.

For Dykes – Is your last name real? Nonono, I’m kidding. But seriously? No I’m joking. Bear Raid, huh?

For Helfrich – Born in Eugene and now the Head Football Coach at Oregon, who do you think will be the Philadelphia Eagles’ starting quarterback?

For Riley – Coach…any thought to losing the pleated pants look? It’s 2013.

For Leach – Go. Just start talking.

For Sarkisian – You named your boat “Noah Sark.” Great play on words. But does it infer you are escaping irreparable evil deeds and the world is about to end? **cough cough…ChipKelly…cough