With high spirits considering I knew the entire episode was recorded, I was delighted to see things open with Snoop saying, “We Bruins now.” How could this not be a great episode? I guess setting high expectations is a tough proposition for Colorado.

Alas, what I’d come to discover is that what I missed in mis-DVR’ing the final four minutes was just a power-reel through the most recent weekend of games. We less-than-enthusiastically got to re-live UCLAs sweep of the Ski schools and Askia’s 43. Meh.

The meat and potatoes of this week’s Drive starts in Boulder with two prompt shots of Buffaloes. I decided to count the number of Buffaloes shown in this episode (3). Strangely, Tad Boyle seems to spend most of his time telling his team everything they can’t do in order to not lose. I found it an odd proposition for a team that Pac-12 overvoice tells us is still “finding its identity.” Nevertheless, Tad confirms this and then Xavier Johnson tells us that he really likes Tad because he’s not a liar. Indeed this team is still finding itself.

Highlights suggest they would beat Northern Colorado and Tad told one of their kids to say hi to his parents.

My most favorite moment during the Colorado segment was heading into a huddle. Tad is lauding the importance of remaining focused when he interrupts himself to shout, “Hey hold the ball!” It reminded me of the fifth grade boys team I once coached. Ask me about our championship game timeout sometime.

Second favorite – perhaps thing – every white board featured behind Tad Boyle is blurred out. As if the location of the WMDs was on there.

Boyle’s Blurred Board

My third favorite CU moment was when Xavier Johnson explained to us what he loved about Colorado. He’d received all sorts of love with students approaching him to note their excitement at his presence on campus. They’d come to see him play. Then two coeds ask him what grade he’s in.

…

The first thing I noticed about Larry Krystkowiak was how he was going absolutely Dusty Baker on a toothpick. I love that. Also, Larry has the same voice as Tad. Anyone else think that?

I’m fascinated by leadership and the many ways in which one can lead a group. Quickly, you understand that Utah basketball is Larry Krystkowiak basketball.

“WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. That’s not what I said. I didn’t say any option in motion. I wanna do the same thing I said we were going to run in motion.”

Leadership. Because as it is right now, the Utes are doing what their coach is saying and it certainly seems to be working. That is leadership. And, it turns out, Delon Wright’s older brother, Dorrel’s, shoulder tattoo is wildly distracting:

Look at that skull with an eyeball and eyeheart.

But back to Larry the Leader, Pac-12 overvoice tells us that the conference had taken notice of his program’s success and selected him to coach a Pac-12 select team in China. This immediately brought two thoughts to mind:

1. How many times were we going to be treated to DaVonte Lacy Kermit shirt? (1)
2. Uhhh…the conference picked Craig “The Diplomat” Robinson

Anyhow, turns out that Xavier and Larry really hit it off in China. But that doesn’t really matter much because there was a SMALL MAN VIOLENTLY SWIRLING A SWORD ON THE BASKETBALL COURT! Thankfully we know how this story ends and John Thompson wasn’t involved.

And speaking of stories we already know, Utah beats Colorado. We do, however, get to see the sweet grass burning ritual which occurs while Larry is seemingly alone (plus camera crew unacknowledged) in the locker room. What we didn’t necessarily know were two plays that Utah runs. Like I said, Tad’s board was blurred out so we distinctly weren’t going to learn anything that the Buffs secretize. Utah, an open book, reveals two plays. Allow me to forewarn other Pac-12 teams:

• TURN 7 – Larry shouts this and then Delon passes to Jakob Poeltl for an uncontested layup. This play appears to be the easiest play of all-time.
• PISTOL HAMMER – When these orders are barked, Brandon Taylor steals the ball, passes to Delon who converts the And-1.

Larry K, understandably, is a Coach of the Year candidate.