Tag Archives: Football

Football: Game Time, Get Up

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End over end the ball will tumble into the arms of a young man. He moves swifter and in directions I cannot fathom but with his movements marks the beginning of the collegiate season. Eight months of your team on a near weekly basis has returned (c’mon, hoops counts). I think there’s a word for it: AWESOME. Conjecture and projections are a thing of yester-broadcast (yeah right).

Mark Helfrich now has to be the lead man. Kevin Hogan has to play a full season. Someone has to carry the ball in Johnathan Franklin’s stead. Will Sutton’s gotta pop somebody. RichRod has to start someone. Kiff, too. Mike MacIntyre has to re-instill a fear of Ralphie. Sark has to…well I think Sark’s gotta win more? Kiff, too. The OSU secondary has to pick somebody off. Il Pirata and his Cougs must try again to outrush Ka’Deem Carey. Brian Johnson (Utah OC) has to coach up Travis Wilson to do something no QB has done in SLC since…Brian Johnson (lead the Utes in passing in back-to-back years). Sonny’s Air Raid has got to get bearish.

Johnny Manziel must play 21.5 halves of football.

It’s game time, game day and yet to bid your Saturdays adieu is inappropriate.

Hello. Shalom. ¡Hola! 你好. Hallo. привет. Hujambo. העלא. Bonjour. Sup? This is the beginning you’ve eagerly awaited since the last buzzer sounded in a hoops arena and you emerged to a steroids ridden baseball season.

And at this point you’ve received the alumni Facebook invite to join your fellow [insert mascot here] at [insert opportunistic bar with drink specials for anyone adorning that school’s attire but in reality it’s just one dollar off a bucket of still overpriced C-minuses]. You’ll experience the highs and lows of the season inside that bar and that T-shirt the student section passed out when you were a touch younger. Arrived is the familiarity of fandom and the unknown promise of a season ahead. Your squad might pull the big Thursday night upset. You might hook up with a recent grad. Your 2014 could start Rosy.

So much promise awaits.

End over end the ball will tumble into the arms of a young man. He could go left. He could go right. But he’ll be going.

Get up.

Football: My Questions for Pac-12 Football Media Day

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Today is Pac-12 Football Media day. It is being held in Los Angeles and all twelve teams are reportedly in attendance. There’s already been media buzz about the Conference of Champions as Arizona’s Hard Edge series has drawn attention and Mike Leach was Mike Leach.

But today, of course, marks the pageant. The day the conference rolls itself out on their own accord, putting their best foot forward to jump start the 2013 season.

Now please note that I am not in attendance. I will be in SoCal today but not Los Angeles. I do, however, have questions for the leads of this conference’s football teams. And if I were at media day, I probably would not ask these questions. But a boy can dream.

Follow the whole thing on twitter. The prescribed hashtag is #Pac12FB.

Pac-12 South Questions:

For Rodriguez – It’s rumored Javier Bardem has signed on to play the villain in Hard Edge III. Can you confirm this?

For Graham –  [audible chuckles] Pittsburgh [audible chuckles]

For Whittingham – Why did Urban do that to Aaron? Too soon? Too soon. Duly noted Mr. Whittingham.

For MacIntyre – You turned around a 2-10 San Jose State team in two seasons. You now inherit a 1-11 team. What the f*** were you thinking?

For Mora – Comeon…you guys threw that regular season finale to the ‘Furd didn’tya. Didn’tya. AMIRIGHT SIMERS??

For Kiffin – What’s Layla doing today?

Pac-12 North Questions:

For Shaw – Can you please just state your name and title as smugly as possible? Repeatedly.

For Dykes – Is your last name real? Nonono, I’m kidding. But seriously? No I’m joking. Bear Raid, huh?

For Helfrich – Born in Eugene and now the Head Football Coach at Oregon, who do you think will be the Philadelphia Eagles’ starting quarterback?

For Riley – Coach…any thought to losing the pleated pants look? It’s 2013.

For Leach – Go. Just start talking.

For Sarkisian – You named your boat “Noah Sark.” Great play on words. But does it infer you are escaping irreparable evil deeds and the world is about to end? **cough cough…ChipKelly…cough

Lazy, Desert Town Preview: USC at Arizona

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Zack Jerome, a friend, previewed the USC-Arizona game. He’s good, hell with a pen as he’ll tell you. The following is my Arrogant Game Preview rebuttal:

Our first interaction was a hug.

I’d walked into the bar, crowded with the familiar home-for-the-holidays crew, and was introduced to this Angelino. At the time he was the boyfriend of a high school friend. Today he is her husband, founder of Arrogant Nation and that evening he was hugged by me because that’s what we do in a lazy, desert town.

That’s what Tucson is. It’s not Los Angeles and it’s not supposed to be. We’re drier than Seattle, lower than Boulder, less techy than the Bay, bigger than Eugene, Pullman, and Corvallis. We sure as shit ain’t Tempe.

Huge buildings in Tucson!

You see, we’re a happy bunch and we want to have a good time. So much so that sometimes we’ll even come onto the field before the game is over! I mean, who doesn’t want to party with Jeremiah Masoli? And our all-time winningest coach? Dude is renowned for being a sweet old man. We found him in Hawaii. A good man, Dick Tomey was celebrated for losing during his tenure at San Jose State. God bless him.

John Mackovic.

Of course there’s the whole never-been-to-a-Rose-Bowl thing. But let me ask this: why would I want to go to Pasadena for New Years? In Tucson it’s 75 and sunny and we can golf or hike or jump in our own swimming pools or lotion our hands because it’s so effing dry. Get up at 4am to sit in miserable traffic to watch a goddamn flower parade? No thank you. I’ll take Bud Nitros on the couch with the door to the porch open. And because I’m home visiting, my mom will probably even go pick up my Chad’s Choice from Beyond Bread.

Hell with a pen, Zack? I’m self-deprecating on a QWERTY.

But it’s not all fun and games in Tucson. We’ll fire your basketball coach and gladly take Derrick Williams off your hands (don’t be surprised, you knew it was going to come down to basketball – I mean, the football locker rooms are in McKale). And we’ll take coaches who turn down the head job at Alabama and talk with a drawl and spread the shit out of a football field.

Look, Rich is our kinda guy. He’s the lowest profile, high profile guy you can find. Check out Tucson. Seriously, check it out. It’s the thirty-third most populous city in America. But you’d never guess that and you’d never guess that RichRod was once the hottest name in coaching. In his introductory press conference, guns blazing, he declared, “Why not Arizona?” We ate it up.

Why not Arizona?

We leave the arrogance to the big city because we’ve got saguaros to maintain and we check our shoes for scorpions. We watch basketball in March and embrace all of the UC rejects who don’t want to go to Tempe. Do you know why Jerry Bruckheimer (UA grad!) keeps making mega movies for USC kids to hold boom mics in? Because it’s hot as hell in Tucson during the summer and what the hell else are we going to do?

Back to the hug.

It was unexpected for Zack and unexpected that I’d smell deceased bear on his coat when I embraced him. But embrace I did because that’s how it’s done in a lazy, desert town. We welcome – contrary to state legislation – any and all and will raise a cup of bourbon or whatever you like to celebrate competition and sport. SPORTS!

Good luck, Zack. You’re the best. And watch this:

Being a Fan and Always Abiding Rule #1

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I think I’ve made it clear – and if I haven’t please take note – that as fans, we have nothing to do with the outcome of games that dictate our emotions.

That, by definition, is insane. It’s unhealthy and not conducive to mature relationships and whatever other highly-appropriate babel an MD would tell you regarding your very UN-codependency on the success of another team.

But that’s of course why it’s so perfect and wonderful to be a fan. And that’s why I had a nice little Q&A with Jack Follman. Jack is a fellow PacificTakes writer and just so happens to be a Washington Huskies fan.

This is a fan base I’m a fan of. They live in a beautiful and intelligent city. They’re a bright and supportive fan base with good perspective about them. I dig the Dawgs.

But they’re playing the Wildcats and so I want the Huskies to lose. Badly.

Here’s the football Q&A Jack and I did as a preview to Saturday’s match-up. And note that I love this kinda stuff. It’s like the political debates with even more cattiness. Seriously, how many other debate forums allow you to use actions from 1997 as indictments of one’s superiority over another (additionally note when discussing 1997 with a UW fan, I’ll gladly mention the “Leap by the Lake” and that little thing we like to call the 1997 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship).

This is the fun stuff. It’s why I love going to an opponent’s arena and going HAM – win, lose, or draw – while always abiding by life rule #1: DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE. Which is loosely defined.

A Touch of Kindergarten’s About Me & Football

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My football career never took off because I’m a narcissistic, attention whore and so I became a pitcher. Later I would start a blog.

On pitching, it’s the embodiment of an egomaniac. The phrase “ball in his hands” stems from the position and there’s a reason that on a scorecard, the pitcher is position number one. He’s always center stage, the game doesn’t start until he’s ready, and all eyes are on him.

A blog is just a twenty-first century name for “house of narcissism.”

So back to the football. As a 6’2″ 210lbs (there’s a reason my brother refers to those days as “Fadam”) freshman in high school benching 65lbs and squatting 115lbs, Coach Brunenkant was excited to have an offensive lineman project. I was in his Beginning Weights class at 11am on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays and for a block period on Wednesdays and was getting the full sale to block in his offense.

I was not going to play O-Line. Ever.

Despite getting to school early and doing things like read books and talk to no one, I was longing for the limelight. To pitch in October, my team’s world series fate in my hands, I idolized the Jack Morris’ of the world. Gutsy performers who took the team on their back, willing them to victory.

And then I played freshman tennis because the baseball coach was too frightening.

Eventually I’d get over that – I’m still terrified of the man – and letter a few times on the diamond, winning two conference titles, garnering one state runner-up appearance (this guy hit a 2-run homer in extras to beat us that I still don’t think has landed) and a few individual awards. It was fun and I hadn’t had to block anyone.

So now that we’ve loosely made our way back to football and not once mentioned basketball (which begins in just nine days, how excited are you?), allow me the point.

Football, despite my lack of desire to play it, is glorious. It’s the best hangover cure since the breakfast burrito and plays the glorious role of the dangling carrot getting you to the weekend. Have you ever tailgated? There’s not much else to say.

It’s a game centered around fandom and I love that.

As they have for eons, people come together to cheer on the successes of others. Their adopted group driving towards a collective goal of victory. And I’m fascinated by the emotional attachment we can grow to the wins and losses of something we have absolutely no control over. It’s bass ackwards but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So now that we’ve covered my narcissism, shyness in high school, and why I love football, I’ll mention that I’m channeling the football spirit into some football writing over at Pacific Takes. I’m primarily covering Arizona’s season, the roller coaster that it is. I talk a lot about the program’s changing culture and I mention this Rodriguez guy a lot.

Here’s my latest where I talk about digging holes, ketchup, and burying trees.

On the basketball front, I’m giddy. The season is just around the corner and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been meandering around town with a good day buzz going and stopped to fully nerd out with someone in a “[insert college here] Basketball” shirt to talk upcoming season.

Let’s get ready cause it’s going to be a fun one.